As I’ve gone through my spiritual journey (and still on it!) I’ve learned so much.  Early on, though, there’s one thing I learned from a book by Don Miguel Ruiz called The Four Agreements that really changed my life.  Actually, his entire book changed my life, but one the the agreements, in particular, made my life easier!

DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

“Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

This is a HUGE statement!

Have you ever tried to do something only to have someone tell you what a terrible idea it is?  Have you ever been cussed at and wondered what the *%$? you did?  When you begin to understand that it’s not personal, you begin to have less stress in your life, and like the book says, you begin to suffer less.

I remember when my husband and I were just dating and he told me he “needed some space”.  What?  Really?  That freaked me out.  I took it so personally.  I would sit and stress about what I did wrong, and I truly suffered over it.  I felt awful.  Now, looking back on it, it had absolutely nothing to do with me.  He was going through whatever he was going through and it wasn’t about me at all.

It’s so refreshing to know that whatever someone says or does is not about you.  That person may be having a bad day and take it out on you, but if you know that it’s not you, it’s them, then it makes your life so much easier.  What that person most likely needs is compassion, rather than you yelling back, getting defensive, or copping an attitude.

I know this is easier said than done, so here’s a few tips to help you let it go and show compassion.

1.  You are inherently a good person, so have confidence.  What others say to you or about you does NOT define who you are!

2.  Take a few deep breaths before responding or reacting.  This will give you a few moments to relax and get grounded.  And, in that time the other person may cool down a bit too.

3.  Ignore the situation.  If you stay positive and don’t give attention to what the other person is saying or doing, this may actually help that person, and it’ll no doubt help you.

4.  Realize that the person may be exhausted, pressured, or just immature so what they really need is your help, advice, or a shoulder.

So the next time you’re feeling sensivite, just remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” When you take things personally, you’re allowing someone else’s opinion of you be more important than the opinion of yourself.  What you think and believe about yourself is so important.  You are worthy.  You are love.  You deserve the best.  So don’t take anything personally!!

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Like millions of others out there, and you may be one yourself — you know who you are — I am a Facebook junkie!  I resisted it for a long while but eventually gave in, and I’m glad I did.  It’s such a great way to keep in touch and know what’s going on in EVERYONE’S life (even those that you may not care to know).  It’s funny how people from your past start coming out of the woodwork…some it’s great to see and talk to, and some not so much, but either way they’re still “friends”.

So…I’m having a conversation with a friend (wall to wall) and another “friend” got into the conversation.  No big deal, right?  Well, this guy wasn’t very nice in his comment.  In fact, he was downright rude.  My initial reaction was to comment back and defend myself.  I was ready to go to war!  BUT, I didn’t.  Instead, I decided to just send him some love. I figured that’s what he needed more than a cuss word or two (or more!) from me.  I struggled with it for about a day and a half…I’m commenting back, no – I’m sending positive energy, no – tear him a new one, okay – positive, love energy!

Once I got over the curve, I felt great!  It’s so nice to send someone positive energy rather than sink to their negativity.  And, I’m sure he felt horrible for making the comment that he did.

Has this ever happened to you – you say something nasty to someone and they don’t respond, and once you realize they’re not going to respond you feel really bad?

It’s really cool how we can choose how we’re going to respond to something.  We can choose the negative path or the positive one.  It’s your choice!  When I chose the positive path, I felt good and that’s really what it’s all about.  It’s about feeling good!

I love you, Facebook!

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