As I’ve gone through my spiritual journey (and still on it!) I’ve learned so much.  Early on, though, there’s one thing I learned from a book by Don Miguel Ruiz called The Four Agreements that really changed my life.  Actually, his entire book changed my life, but one the the agreements, in particular, made my life easier!

DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

“Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

This is a HUGE statement!

Have you ever tried to do something only to have someone tell you what a terrible idea it is?  Have you ever been cussed at and wondered what the *%$? you did?  When you begin to understand that it’s not personal, you begin to have less stress in your life, and like the book says, you begin to suffer less.

I remember when my husband and I were just dating and he told me he “needed some space”.  What?  Really?  That freaked me out.  I took it so personally.  I would sit and stress about what I did wrong, and I truly suffered over it.  I felt awful.  Now, looking back on it, it had absolutely nothing to do with me.  He was going through whatever he was going through and it wasn’t about me at all.

It’s so refreshing to know that whatever someone says or does is not about you.  That person may be having a bad day and take it out on you, but if you know that it’s not you, it’s them, then it makes your life so much easier.  What that person most likely needs is compassion, rather than you yelling back, getting defensive, or copping an attitude.

I know this is easier said than done, so here’s a few tips to help you let it go and show compassion.

1.  You are inherently a good person, so have confidence.  What others say to you or about you does NOT define who you are!

2.  Take a few deep breaths before responding or reacting.  This will give you a few moments to relax and get grounded.  And, in that time the other person may cool down a bit too.

3.  Ignore the situation.  If you stay positive and don’t give attention to what the other person is saying or doing, this may actually help that person, and it’ll no doubt help you.

4.  Realize that the person may be exhausted, pressured, or just immature so what they really need is your help, advice, or a shoulder.

So the next time you’re feeling sensivite, just remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” When you take things personally, you’re allowing someone else’s opinion of you be more important than the opinion of yourself.  What you think and believe about yourself is so important.  You are worthy.  You are love.  You deserve the best.  So don’t take anything personally!!

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