One of the things I’ve learned, and still practice, in yoga is to be nonreactive.  As I practice breathing, relaxing, and letting go while my shoulders are burning and my thigh is yelling at me, I become aware that my mind is more calm and I get a sense of ease, strength, and peace.  It can be so easy to have a negative reaction when the teacher calls out a pose I don’t like, or when a sub walks in that I wasn’t expecting, but all that does is make the situation worse.  If I change my reaction to these things and make them more positive, or don’t react at all then my outcome is way better.

You choose how you want to respond.

As I take what I’ve learned on my yoga mat and apply it to real life, I realize that everything we experience (good or bad) is because of our reaction or response to it.  This same nonreactive principal that I’ve learned in yoga can also be applied to our life.  Jack Canfield has a formula that he teaches:

E + R = O  (Events + Responses = Outcome)

The idea is that everything you experience is because of how you responded to an earlier event in your life.  If you aren’t enjoying the outcomes that you are experiencing right now, there are basically two choices you can make.

1.  You can blame the event for the outcome.

There’s a ton of external factors that we can blame.  We can blame the economy for not having a job.  We can blame our boss or our clients for having a bad day.  We can blame the rain for not working out.  We can blame our lack of money for not starting our dream business.  We can blame a lack of time for eating fast food.  Excuses.  Excuses.  Excuses.

We’ve all done this right?  I know I have.  Going back to yoga…I was in a workshop last week and I noticed I was making excuses for why I wasn’t getting into a pose.

There’s no doubt that these blame factors exist, but it’s up to us to overcome them.  There are tons of people who are still employed and very successful.  I see people out walking in the rain all the time.  For every impossible thought we have, there are many out there that think it is possible.

OR

2.  You can change your responses to the events until you get the outcomes you want.

Can we respond differently to the events that happen?  If we get fired, maybe we take the time to educate ourselves and learn a new skill.  If the boss is being a hard ass, maybe we have some compassion for him rather than gossiping with other coworkers about how awful he is.  He may be having a lot of personal issues at home, or had a father that was hard on him.

We can change our thinking, the way we communicate, and our behavior because really that’s all that we have control over anyway.  We don’t necessarily have control over any extremal event.  All we have control over is our responses to them!

We tend to get stuck in our habits and the way we respond  to our children, our spouses, the traffic, and our bosses.  So we must gain control of our thoughts, our behavior, the images we hold in our head, and our dreams.

We need to know what we want, and then everything we think, say, and do needs to align with our goals, our intentions, and our values.

In the words of Jack Canfield: If we all experience the same EVENT, the OUTCOME you get will be totally dependent upon your RESPONSE to the situation.

If you don’t like your outcomes, you must change your responses.  It’s that simple!

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I have a lot of favorite yoga poses, but if I just had to pick one it would be Warrior II (Virabhadrasana II).  It appears fairly simple, but so much can be achieved in this pose (so much can be felt in this pose if you hold it long enough!!).

At first, it’s all about just trying to stay in the pose while your thigh and shoulders are screaming at you, but once you find proper alignment and connect with your breath, Warrior II is so peaceful.  It’s like a peaceful warrior; strong, focused, and courageous!

With practice, you begin to feel how strong the thigh is and come to appreciate it, and the shoulders are there, but you’re relaxed.  This feels good.  You keep holding.  Then maybe it’s not so good, but wait I’m thinking about my thigh.  Breathe!  Okay, feels better.

As thoughts like this go on in your head, you must remember to breathe.  It’s with the breath that this pose becomes meditative.  And, it’s the breath that allows you to relax when you’re in an uncomfortable position.  It’s the breath that allows you to just be in the pose, rather than doing the pose.

Here’s some alignment points (based on the picture above):

• The left leg is bent to a 90 degree angle.
• Weight is on the center of the left heel, and the toes relaxed (knee is stacked over the heel).
• Open the hip by taking the left knee towards the left “baby” toe.
• Lift the left hip crease off the left thigh (this will help get the spine vertical).
• Outside edge of the right foot is grounded down.
• The spine is extended upward in a vertical line.
• Arms are open out extending in both directions, feeling the arms strong and long (so to gain space in the shoulder, elbow, and wrist joints).
• Shoulders are relaxed down, away from the ears.
• Gaze is out over your left hand.
• Hold & BREATHE.
• Then hit the other side!

Physically, Warrior II will increase your stamina, and strengthen your legs, ankles, and arms.  It’s great for stretching and opening your chest, shoulders, hips, and groin.  It relieves backaches, great for flat feet, and get this…infertility!  It even helps with carpal tunnel and sciatica.

Practice Warrior II often…it’s a great spiritual teacher!

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I love it because little kids are absolutely living in the present moment, you can learn so much from them, and them from you (be careful of this one!!).

Since little ones don’t understand time, they have no stress and are always happy (as long as all their needs are met!).  They are totally playing in the moment – living in the moment.  My kids play well by themselves (fortunately!), but I’ve noticed that if they need my attention I can either completely give it to them or I can be there but have my mind elsewhere.  If my mind is on something else I’ve noticed that they need me longer.  If I am there for them completely, in the present moment with them, then the amount of time they “need” me is less.  If I’ve got things to do around the house, jewelry to make, or a blog to write I am able to get those things done if I just spend a little quality time with them.  It makes them happy, I feel great, and in turn I’m more productive.  It’s such a relief for me too because in that moment there’s absolutely nothing lacking…I have no stress and life is perfect!

Lately, my sweet Max (he’s 3) has been teaching me to let go.  His new saying is “but it’s okay”.

“Max, you’ve got food all over your face.” – “yeah, but it’s okay!”

As he’s hitting his brother with a stuffed animal (Miles is mildly laughing) – “Mommy, it’s okay”.

We’re running late for school – “but it’s okay!”

And what’s really cool is that as soon as he says that, I relax and say you’re right IT IS OKAY.  Sometimes we get so caught up in looking perfect, always doing things right, and everything being a certain way but does it really matter?  Can we just let go and have fun?  Because ultimately, it is okay!

Kids watch, learn, and sense our energy too.  The more rushed I am to get out of the house, the more uncooperative they are.  If I’m relaxed and calmly explain how we need to leave immediately, they listen and work with me.  The way I do something, they do too.  For example, I always rinse off the tooth brush and tap the brush on the counter before putting it up.  Max does this too, and can point out that his Daddy doesn’t.

I also came to the realization that Max got his new expression (it’s okay) from me.  I say it quite a bit – like if he drops his food, or can’t find a toy.  So it comes full circle!  I’m teaching him that it’s okay and he’s teaching me the same.  How awesome is that?

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